There are times in my life where, when my heart is sensitive and soft towards God, every trial, every difficulty, every trying situation pushes me closer to Him. In those seasons, every hard turn or tight corner brings me to a place of desperate surrender - a place where complete dependency becomes my default reaction.
That is a beautiful place to be in - a place I wish I was always in.
"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it."
My heart unguarded, my spirit unchecked, my mind undisciplined want nothing to do with submission. They seek self interest, self righteousness, and self justification. They pull at my soul until the very things that once made me run to Him now harden my heart against Him. Pride rises up to protest with a shaking fist, and my heart must once again learn to be broken before Him.
And more often than I would like, I pull out my journal and pray this once more over myself:
Callous is my heart
Like a weather-beaten
rock
Not longer broken by
the waves.
Like a fist clenched
Silent, yet firm
Could you unfold the
layers of sin
And let your healing
balm
Cleanse the scourge of
pride?
